Improvement costs energy

So now I'm sitting on a brown loveseat in a tiny, rustically-urban apartment, ready to post. You may know what that means. I am nearing the anniversary of my arrival here. When I first arrived, I slept on the floor in a dorm room while looking for work. I haven't mentioned my work yet except to say that I'm a government bureaucrat. I'm afraid to say too much, but I work in the regulation of the financial industry. I never imagined that people at my level in an industry would do the sort of things I do. Much of my power is illusory, but some of it is real.

Doing anything worthwhile takes focus, delayed gratification, the sacrifice of worry, and the sacrifice of other, tantalizing information. Every moment that I blog I take away from something else. It doesn't take away much, but enough. So I'm off to something else

What I've been doing

Since I got a cushy government job several months ago after graduating from college, I've been living stress-free and catching up on leisure reading in both fiction and nonfiction. I've been learning a lot, and most of it is highly bloggable. Why, then, haven't I been blogging?

I've begun to seriously worry about my digital identity. It's apparent from several comments that there are people who know who I am, and I don't know who they are. Some people might wonder why this might be a problem. The problem is that this site was intended to be a place where I could truly speak my mind and voice controversial opinions. In many cases these opinions will not be correct, and sometimes they may sound absurd. I'm an intensely private and self-conscious person and I can't stand to have my mistakes archived in the Wayback Machine for all to see for the rest of my life. I've played fast and loose with my identity on this site, and at some point I plan to cultivate a new internet identity more carefully. Statements signed by my real name will ideally be carefully-researched and screened for neutral wording.

In my last post I mentioned that I was reading The Skeptical Environmental, a book which is overwhelmingly researched. While I can't say that I've fact-checked it thoroughly, on the surface it appears accurate to call it, as one Amazon reviewer says, a tour de force in environmental science. It's admittedly shaken my "ecowarrior" philosophy to the core. Prior to reading it I read a Worldwatch State of the World book, which I found disappointing. Lomborg heavily criticizes the Worldwatch books and exposes in some cases what appears to be scientific dishonesty on the part of environmentalists, even global warming theorists. My thoughts on the issue are still developing, but while my convictions were shaken, I still disagree with Lomborg on his major conclusions and remain concerned about biodiversity, global warming, persistent pollutants, farming, and water. Yet I highly recommend the book for the one of the best available monographs on the statistics and theory behind environmental issues.

I'll skip some of my other reading aside from mentioning that it relates to medicine, scientific controversy, and corporate conflicts of interest (eg Marcia Angell's The Truth About the Drug Companies). Today I saw a section (p. 145) in The Money Culture (a humorous book on Wall Street) which related my thoughts on some of these issues:

Like about half of America, my father believes he can systematically beat the stock market ... shallow pretenders ... bother him ... it pleases him to see Rukeyser embarrass the various hemline theorists, 75-year cyclists, Elliot Wavers, and druids ... he watches Louis Rukeyser for the same reason every right-thinking, sexually repressed, country club Episcopalian lingered long and hard over the delicious defrockings of Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker. It confirms his skepticism about alternative forms of belief. (emphasis mine)

Ultimately, I'm not right-leaning. I probably rate high on the psychological "openness" score. However, I try to be rational. I'm willing to investigate implausible claims before writing them off. That's perhaps wasted a lot of my time, but it's also helped me learn a lot. Ultimately I've tentatively concluded that fringe scientists and theorists are more likely to engage in scientific dishonesty. But they don't have a monopoly on such improprieties, and rationally one cannot come to firm conclusions without investigation and empirical evidence. There are, for example, ways to make a lot of money trading stocks. It's not nonsense. But it doesn't have anything to do with Elliot Wave theory -- which, I'll admit, I haven't investigated and have little regard for.

Spring Break Trip

Just got back from driving a few hundred miles to see some friends and I'm exhausted. During the trip I bought $1000 worth of JA Solar Holdings. Most of the trip was spent talking and drinking alcohol. One thing I learned: don't discuss God with Christians.

Instincts

The proper instinct: to resist seductive pleasures as long as possible. 

The better instinct: to redefine what is pleasurable.