Wednesday, March 15, 2006

No time to rest

I've been relatively busy lately. Usually I've got tons of time to contemplate what I'm doing, but now I'm under pressure all the time. Here's what I've been doing:

  1. Pledging. It's finally finished, so my life is back now.
  2. Smoking weed. Still an everyday thing.
  3. Catching up on classes.
  4. Pursuing online businesses.
  5. Doing errands.
Now I should get back to some of this shit. Spring Break is gonna be nice.

Trying desperately to make money online

If any of you are looking to make money online, try out this little program:

The Profit-Plan: "Make a profit TODAY or your money back TODAY" is the tagline. As far as I can tell, it's possible to make a lot of money on this. I've made my money back and a little profit, but I'm not having a ton of success. Wish me luck and check it out.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Life is good again

Well, it's about the same, but at least now I'm not tripping out and having panic attacks.

Damn it feels good to be sober. I just aced a test and I've got the weekend to work on my other shit. It feels like I just stepped out of a shower.

On a sidenote, this school has shitty teachers. I'm gonna start ragging on them.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

I need a new sanctuary


Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I wanna give up

All I want to do right now is lay down and sleep for a day. I'm stressed to the breaking point. I'm honestly just tripping out in my daily life right now. I'm all stressed about these little projects, but instead of doing them I just keep stressing. I want to drop out of college and go home.

My life feels like a nightmare. I walk by people that I can't talk to everyday, exchanging shallow hellos or furtive glances. When I do talk, I exchange meaningless pleasantries boredly. I stink from not taking a shower, and I'm still sitting on the internet listening to mind-numbing music when I should be doing homework.

Yesterday, for a few sober hours, I felt like I'd moved past a barrier and finally became confident again. Then I took a couple more bong-rips and again sunk into philosophical, jittery oblivion.

Now I'm sober again, and starting to trip less. I'm beginning to take my fucked up existence for granted again, like we all do. But I still have this horrible fear in the pit of my stomach. The last few days have lasted forever.

I went to a psychological therapist yesterday, though. It doesn't look promising.