Saturday, January 13, 2007

Girl Next Door

There's a hot girl living next door to me right now(it seems like there always is). I took her out to dinner once last month, then went home for the holidays. I dropped by there the other day to say hi and when her roommate went to get her, she said she was sick. It's been a good six or seven days since then and she still hasn't dropped by to say hi. I'm not going to visit again. If she's not that interested enough to return my overture then I'm not going to push it.

But I still wonder. We seemed to hit it off and hopefully we'll get together sometime in the future. In the meantime we're both sitting around in our respective houses 20 feet from each other. Is she shy? She's an aspiring actor - she shouldn't be. Is there something about me that intimidates people, or scares them, or bores them? Very few people make an effort to visit or hang out with me. In fact, the only visitor I've had so far this month was a friend of my roommate's, who is out of town. Perhaps people sense that I'm not really interested in them(or maybe that's just what I tell myself, because they're not interested in me). Perhaps I annoy them because I can't relate to their shallow hobbies. Half the time when I hang out with people or party I feel like I'm wasting my time, but a quarter (especially Friday nights) of the time when I'm alone I feel achingly lonely, and seek people through movies, books, or the internet. Today I spent an hour wandering Safeway just because it felt nice to be around people and music.


Anonymous said...

Maybe the reason you failed to hit it off with her, and perhaps people in general, is because of statements like "She's an aspiring actor - she shouldn't be." Why shouldn't she be? Are plays and films mere frivolities? I would certainly argue otherwise, as would Shakespeare, Miller, Hitchcock, and Scorsese. Not only are they art, they certainly can contribute quite positively to society. Or perhaps you're saying that she's simply no good at it. Fair enough, but I think she'd disagree and be quite insulted at the same time. Not to mention the fact that I doubt somewhat that you're at all qualified to judge someone's acting abilities, just as I doubt she would be qualified to judge your philosophical ideas.

You say "Perhaps I annoy them because I can't relate to their shallow hobbies." I would say that you annoy them because you never try to relate to their "shallow hobbies," and indeed because you find them to be shallow, with, no doubt, little cause. I get the impression that you regarded this girl's aspiration as little more than a "shallow hobby" - no wonder she was "sick" when you dropped by!

Familiar with poker? Then you'd know the concept of a tell. In case you're not, it is a subtle visual clue as to your feelings and intentions. Chances are, at that dinner, you probably had a very distinctive tell when she talked about her "shallow hobbies," since you have such a disdain for them.

Just a reminder - some would consider your drug use to be a "shallow hobby." Some would consider your enjoyment of philosophy to be a "shallow hobby." But if you want to be successful socially, you have to learn at the very least to not pass judgment, but also to attempt to engage the opposite person's interests as well. You're never going to find a carbon-copy of yourself, after all.

undergroundman said...

No, I have no trouble with aspiring actors at all. :p

I asked the question: is she shy? My answer was: she shouldn't be (and I really doubt she is). Who knows.

I try to relate to people's hobbies, actually, and I have more friends than I made it seem like in this post. I'm in a fraternity. I just get tired of trying to relate to their hobbies of drinking, video games (I stopped playing them in high-school), rap, and drugs.