Friday, November 03, 2006

IamShaman order came

Today the order I put in at www.iamshaman.com came in the mail, I'm happy to say. I was surprised to find that I hadn't posted about Salvia Divinorum on here before. It's a hallucinogen in a class of its own. Literally translated, as you can read at Wikipedia, it is the "sage of the seers". I've tried it six or seven times before - each time I try it, I find something new. The thought of trying it again brings a pit of anxiety to my stomach. It's a scary drug. Most people are reluctant to try it more than once.

The first time I tried it I was hanging out with a gangsta' stoner buddy of mine. He refused to try it but watched me. After taking a long rip from his bong, I felt dazed and suddenly - paralyzed. I nearly dropped the bong. Then I sat down on his bed in a daze. He put on some Bob Marley music - "Buffalo Soldier". The music felt like a long wave, with entrancing ups and downs. I was so absorbed by the music that it controlled me, and I urgently felt that it needed to stop, or I would end. I was the song. I could hardly articulate it, but I shook my head at him forcefully and he turned off the music.

Then I sunk into a minute-long daze. Dreamlike scenes flashed before my eyes - an oasis in the middle of the desert. Light flashing across the cosmos. It's been so long that the experience is hazy. When I came to, I began to rant and rave existential nonsense:"We're all just stupid monkeys, blah blah blah, we pretend things have meaning, blah blah blah, everyone's too afraid of the truth, ect."

The second time I tried it I was in a room with a bunch of buddies, and proposed that we try smoking some salvia. A couple of them took big rips and felt nothing. I took a medium-sized rip out of the bong and immediately felt the initial effect: reality was getting fuzzy. I took another small rip and reality got fuzzier yet. I was into this strange zone. I looked around at everyone in awe. They were having some conversation.

"You all know it. You know it."

They chuckled and looked at me curiously.

"You know what I mean. You know the secret."

"What are ya talkin' about, man?"

I stared at everyone, then suddenly fear hit me: when this conversation ended - when this moment ended, I would be over. My consciousness at this moment would cease to exist. Time happens, and I keep dying - AHHH!

"Oh no, oh no...keep talking...when this is over..."

I shook my head, and suddenly it didn't seem so urgent anymore.

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Maybe I'll post my other experiences later.

So I got 1 gram of salvia 10x and some kava kava. Kava kava is the real deal. It's been tested clinically to be as effective at treating anxiety as pharmaceuticals. I get the stuff with 84% kavalactones and pop 2-3 before I go out in public sometimes. Though my anxiety isn't bad, my perfectionism spills over into daily life - I'm often so anxious of screwing things up that I won't start projects.

Anyway, there goes another post. Next up: the pheromone controversy, or the rundown on the global warming skeptics such as Stephen Milloy of JunkScience (I won't link to the site - it's too ugly).

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